Attachment Styles and Relationships

This paper will discuss how early relationships affect adults relationships later on in life. It will elaborate on the three dimensions each relationship has and they are passion, intimacy and commitment. The paper will include Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. First, there are three types of attachments one may develop when we are infants. The first one is secure attachment. This manifests itself when an infant is with his or her mother and happily explores an unfamiliar environment.Furthermore, when the mother leaves, the infant will become distressed. On the other hand, when the mother returns, the infant runs to her and then continues playing (Bolt, 2004). Next, there is another type called avoidant attachment. These type of infants do not show distress when removed from their mother. They also do not cling to their mother upon reunion. They react to strangers in the same way they do with their mothers. They keep their attention focused on their toys (Bolt, 2004). The last type is called anxious attachment. In unfamiliar settings, these infants ling to their mother and cry when she leaves. However, when she returns, they are hostile. They do not explore their environment. These infants may continue to cry even after being picked up (Bolt, 2004). Attachment Styles and Relationships2 Furthermore, in adults relationships there are also three types. The first one is secure adults. This can be expressed when these adults find it easy to become close in a relationship. Their relationships are characterized by happiness, trust and friendship. They can accept and support their partners despite faults (Bolt, 2004). Next, the next type is avoidant adults. They are less invested in relationships and more likely to leave them. It seems that they are afraid to become too close to people. They have emotional highs and lows. They may have intimate relations with a partner without feeling love (Bolt, 2004). The last type of adult relationship is called anxious adults. These types are less trusting and demand reciprocation. They are generally more jealous and possessive. They may break up repeatedly with the same person. They can become angry and emotion hen discussing differences (Bolt, 2004). Furthermore, the reason this is so is because when these adult types were infants they lacked close physical proximity. This is important in any type of relationship. It helps for caregivers to for a bond with infants and adults to develop closeness in a relationship. Also, infants develop a feeling of security when they are held. The lack of this physical proximity contributes to the different attachment problems. This is an important aspect to look into. This means that a couple has to get to know each other’s similarities and differences. This is what brings them close to each other. This also helps the couple to learn what is best for their partner or spouse. Last, there are three types of commitment styles. The first one is personal commitment. This can been seen when two people are together because they enjoy each other. The second type is moral commitment. This happens when people feel an obligation to continue the marriage in order not to break their marital vows. This type of arriage is not based on true love. The third type is called constraint commitment in which people believe that they have to continue a relationship based on social, financial or emotional reasons. This is not a commitment out of love. In conclusion, to maintain a good relationship, a couple should have time to talk to each other. It is important to maintain good communication.